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Need Some Advice from Married Hunters

Hey Guys,

I really need some advice from yall that are married that hunt.

I'm 26yrs old, work rotating shift work at a Plant in Port Allen, Louisiana. I'm just having a hard time figuring out how to manage to go hunting in Mississippi on my Family's land and not distancing myself from my girlfriend 'maybe wife one day'. I can't be the only person out there that works shift work and has this dilemma.

I really want to be able to hunt during deer season but I dont want my hobby to jeopardize my relationship/marriage one day. WHAT DO I NEED TO DO?

If she doesn't like you hunting and fishing now it will get worse. If that is the case she is jealous that you could enjoy life without her being there and being the center of your enjoyment. Take her with you teach her to hunt and or fish and beware of jealousness it will only get worse.
We all have to deal with it
Three choices: 1. Lose the girlfriend, 2. Quit hunting, 3. Find a closer place to spend time in the woods
Oh by the way mine doesn't intefere with anything I do or dont do. She doesnt nag whine gripe moan. I turkey hunt almost every day of the season in Miss. and La. Deer hunt almost everyday. Fish several times a week the rest of the year. One time she said something. I told her OK ill start chasing skirts/ drinking gambling and staying out all night--she has never mentioned my outdoor pursuits again or what I spend on it. ( all my retirement goes into joint account--my part time job 2 6 hr days a week--goes to my account)
It can work
I try my best to keep my outdoor passion in balance with my family life. To me that means that I am not gone every weekend and when I am gone I am not gone all day long. Do I get to hunt and fish as much as I want? No, but this minimizes the friction between me and my wife when it comes to hunting and fishing and may night equal more time but the number of days outdoors is ok with me. I don't know what that balance is for you, but that is what you need to find.

If she is an outdoors have a keeper. Include her.
work / hunt
Only you can decide how much freedom you are willing to give up to keep a woman.
I know guys that hunt and fish every weekend and their wives are happy with that. only thing is once the kids get old enough they want to go Too.
I know guys that give the W/G every other week end.
i know guys that went from every weekend to one weekend a month.
Best thing is to get your gf involved in hunting and fishing with you. You will be much happier in the long run.
Whatever you decide MAKE SURE and sit down and discuss it w/ her.
We have been married for 28 years and i told my wife when we were dating that she was welcome to go hunting or fishing with me any time she wanted to go. She has gone fishing a few times and hunting once. Not her thing. BUT , me telling her that she's welcome took care of any trust issues
as in what are they really doing at the camp or hunting club.
she found out that it really is a bunch of guys in camo that sit around and cook and cuss and drink and fart and have a good time and do a little fishing and hunting on the side.
Get everything out front Now, DO NOT wait till after you are married to find out that she wants you home w/ her on the weekends!!!
Lay it all out
What is it about hunting that you like so much and makes you want to spend every weekend in the woods? You have to be able to answer that question before you can make her understand your passion. For me, hunting is the ONLY time I am ever completely by myself, no phone calls or emails, and can clear my head and actually relax. My wife knows this and never says a word about me wanting to go every chance I get because she understands why I want to go, and sometimes encourages me to go when I am undecided.

Also, as others mentioned take her with you a time or two so she can experience it herself. My wife makes a couple of hunts with me every year because she enjoys it as well. And honestly, I love the fact that I have introduced her to hunting and fishing and that we can enjoy it together. She does not come with me every time but when she does come we have a good time together.
make a deal
good post for us young bucks to get advice from the ol veterans at this game. i been with my gf for 2 years and so far hasn't given me to much for going hunting most weekends but what i do to balance it out is when hunting season is over and its time to start fishing its time for her and i to do that together. i take her fishing alot with me, she dosen't say anything about me going in the woods with my buddies. which this is a good balance with me. plus she loves to fish!
I hunt in alabama every chance i get. How I dealt with the wife?? Easy, i bought her a rifle and a bow, and bring her with me.
balance and priorities
30point, it's great that you're dealing with this up front: I know guys who simply told their wives they were hunting and fishing as much as they want, and ended up divorced.

Fortunately, my wife hung in the first several years of our marriage, when I fished or hunted every weekend - from Friday through Sunday, no matter what she said.

I've since learned that, as much as I enjoy getting out and enjoying catching fish and chasing deer, it's not worth losing my wife. She is more important - it's that simple.

Ideally, you would invite her to go with you. Not just to sit around the camp but to participate in the hunt with you. If you can teach her to enjoy what you love to do, you'll be able to hunt and fish more often without problems.

I've been married for more than 23 years, and this shows it can work. My wife will bream fish with me, but that's it. So I try to take her a few times a year (she also refuses to fish when it gets too hot or cold! lol), and I split the rest of my time between her and the outdoors.

Now, I'm pretty lucky because my wife enjoys alone time, so she doesn't give me much grief unless I push things a little too far.

But when push comes to shove, she wins every time. And I don't regret it at all: I can simply go hunting or fishing another time.

BTW, I used the same argument as turkeyhunter ('I could be going to bars') when I was ignoring my wife every weekend, but apparently with much less success than he has had. lol
i've been married for 12 yrs now and have 2 kids. when it comes to hunting/fishing, it's a balancing act like when we all learned to ride a bike. if either you or your gf/wife lean too far in one direction, your going to fall over. you'll BOTH have to find that happy medium that allows you to stay on that bike. i've seen many a relationship go sour b/c the gf thought she could mold her man into a quivering pile of 'yes mam' jello once they got married. be up front w/ each other now and be prepared to give and take. i agree w/ what others have said previously, offer to take her w/ you. my wife had never gone hunting/fishing before we met. over the years she has become quite the fisherwoman and enjoys going to the deer camp every now and then. (maybe 2 or 3 times a year) on the flip side, there are times when every bone in my body is telling me to get in the woods, but i choose not too and instead spend an entire saturday shopping (ughh!!) w/ her. no i don't go as much as i'd like, but by getting my wife envolved, we're able to share in something that now we can both enjoy. if your gf can't accept the fact you love the outdoors and isn't willing to compromise now, believe me it will only get 10x worse when your married. good luck

Women hunters
My wife and got a separation. At the end of the 2011 season because I was off hunting more than she liked. We got back together and I warned her that I wasn't you going to stop hunting. I did join a differe t hunting club though. This one is very family friendly and now she likes going as much as I do if not more. Find a club that is fame friendly. Our club has the wives and kids there every weekend. Because of the other women my wife is now getting into the actual hunt. Last year she came with me a couple of times but didn't like it. Now she is seeing these other women hunt and talking to them about it and she wants to kill a deer pretty bad. Get her around other women that hunt and she will want to also. Women have a fierce competitive thing amongst other women. Good luck bro.
Shift work
And I too do shift work. I work offshore 14 &14 so I know what it's like.
You have to hunt a little less lol. Its just the way it is gotta decide what you want. Thats why i only hunted about 17 days instead of 40 but id rather have a girlfriend or a wife now a days.
Great job handling this now. My ex grew up in a Hunting and Fishing Family to the Max! I'm talking about wearing hunting clothes to Thanksgiving or Christmas Dinner and we all bug out. Our Deer camp was only Family....Her family. ( that was before I was even married) 16 years in (24 yrs total) and 2 sons later She found somebody that didnt hunt or fish and suddenly it was an issue.
I coached both sons baseball teams, never missed a game. BUT never missed a weekend Deer Hunting or Fishing either in season. ( fished tournaments and traveled alot) My kids were young so they didnt go. Now they are with me every weekend 15 and 18 yrs old. My Point: I didnt change...Never will, Current g/f cant stand it, but I learned to flex , got her sons involved, took them thru Hunter ed. I skip alot of weekends to be with her. I skip most of December up til Cmas cause she likes to shop together, for 2 years now. I go because my sons want to go and I'm flexible for them. Divorce is a horrific experience I do not wish on my worst enemy. I lost EVERYTHING, sons included . Completely wrecked my life.
Try Like Hell to get her involved , You both will be miserable if you dont. Take my advice PLEASE . I wish someone had given me some. Sorry so long, I never comment but felt like I was obligated.
Keep strong!
Bra I don't know how else to put this.... Grow and keep a set. I am married with a child. I hunted and fished before I was married. It's just something I LOVE to do. Everyone in a relationship has this dispute. I told my wife that I love to hunt and I would never expect her to stop or cut back on doing something she loves. It's a comprimise bra. Y'all need alone time to do whatever it is y'all like to do. Gives you time to miss the braud. Don't get me wrong, I love my bride and lil girl more than life itself, so we all understand that big daddy got to hunt , and momma and baby girl got to shop and stuff. Nothing more true ever said than ' A man marries a woman and hopes she never changes, but a woman marries a man hoping to change him.' Hope you can make her understand that you just have to get away and kill something every so often.
And before anyone accuse me of talking smack this is our engagement pictures. We got engaged in the swamp, and mife wife come from a family that doe NOT hunt. If you got a good one, she will understand.
I also work shift work, but I have been married for a lot longer. I had the same problem, my advice is to keep hunting and keep assuring her that you love her. If she truly loves you and can't live without you she'll adjust. I tried to include my wife with hunting and now she hunts as well. At least you are in the woods and not at a bar room.
maybe you can put your bag in a check out system, sign them out and promise to her you will bring them back, maybe she will let you use them maybe she won't
Dude if you don't set the standard now, you will NEVER be able to change it later. Later being when you have a house, kids, etc. Later being when you can't afford for her to leave you because you hunt to much. Be a man, tell her like it is.
Balance Your Time
Just as you plan your time and areas to get the Big Buck, think about devoting the same time to her. Finding a balance for hunting & her will be the better choice. Life is about sacrifices, you need to choose which will be better for you in the long haul. Deer or the mother of your children. While your in the woods being quiet, you sure have a lot of time to think about it. Let your heart decide.

Best of luck
Man I gotta Thank All of Yall for The Advice!
Man....... Thank yall sooo much for all the advice! I'm reading and taking everything into account. There is just a tremendous amount of wisdom and experience coming from you guys that have girlfriends and also those of you married and devoted husbands out there. This is something I constantly think about and struggle with so this advice really really really has help me... and I bet others out there take things into perspective. Thank yall! This is some great nuggets of advice!
one basic rule to add
Some great advice here, and if you read closely, its all about the same. The only thing I would add....and take it from someone who learned the hard that if they are high-maintenance and the moody, don't walk, away. There is nothing you can do to make her happy.

There are plenty of wonderful women out there, including my wife now who lets me fish almost every Saturday or Sunday. She knows I need the stress relief, and I take her Dad, who loves to fish, with me. Of course, I don't shirk my other responsibilities and take good care of the house and family, though. All a balancing act.
hunting together
Try to include her in hunting. Some women DO enjoy it!! I grew up hunting and fishing with my dad and brothers. My husband and I go fishing as often as we can. I'm usually the one nagging him to go!! When we had the family land, we hunted ducks with our boys and fished. Now that we don't have the land, we fish a lot and are looking for a family lease to get into to hunt together and with our sons. We have shared a lot of great memories together hunting and fishing. Wouldn't change it for the world.
married hunting
You need a nice camper, a new kindle , and a case of box wine........Dat's good bait.
Women and hunting and fishing
There is a lot of good advise in the comments, however, most are based on logic which does not necessarily work on women. My advise, give her a credit card and tell her to go shopping with a friend and pick out a wedding dress.
Wife, Shiftwork and Hunting
All BS aside it can work. You need to let her know how important hunting is to you, but always make her more important. I work every other weekend so I give her alot of time on my weekend off. I do most off my hunting during the week. I also give her some of my vacation time and keep some for me. When I take vacation during the hunting season she knows it strictly hunting no honey do's. If for some reason I'm not going hunting I always ask her if she would like to do something or need something done. I've been married 10 years and it's not always easy and a lot of the time she won't like it but I she loves you she will understand. AND NEVER FORGET TO ALWAYS MAKE HER THE MOST IMPORTANT YHING IN YOUR LIFE.
balance it out is right!!
try to balance it out, do what ya'll have to do, to make both of you happy, before you get married!! make sure it's working out for both of ya'll!!! if it doesn't work, it won't work out, after you get married, for sure!! then if ya'll have a baby, might have to do a little more adjustment!!
Well 25 yrs ago, before we got married, my then GF,now wife started to get a little bossy. I can't
stand bossy women!! So,it was either fix it now or
get rid of her. One day while we were playin around wrestling,she started to get a little 'cocky' I picked her up, put her over my knee and spanked her. When I finished I told her 'remember I can do that and if you make me choose between hunting and fishing or you ; I love you but I'm gonna miss you,'She decided pretty quick on 'if you can't beat em,join em'. She started huntin with me and loved it.Been married 23 yrs, raised 2 boys in the woods and fishing offshore,her with us most of the time. She's killed some nice deer and loves catchin big fish offshore.She encourages
me to go on trophy hunts even when she can't go and she's just as excited as I am to see what we got on camera here at the house.Most years I hunt
everyday of a least rifle season, the only thing
she complains about is not getting to hunt enough herself(because of work RN)

True story, may not work for you, but has yieled
me a best friend, hunting companion and wife.
Ohh Snap
The pimp hand needs to be strong ! LOL If she doesnt allow you to do things you like hunt then you will never enjoy what she likes to do. Letting her join you on a trip and maybe she will see how much you really enjoy the sport.
Looks like most have given you the same good advice, i have been married 12 years and the nagging about going fishing and hunting is still there, but i still do it every sat, but i make sure to be home for 12 and spend the rest of the day and sun with her and the kids. not as much time as i used to spend out in the marsh, but its worth it to keep a good wife and kids, you have to its only fare. then when your kids get old enough bring them, you and they will enjoy and your wife wont mind you staying out longer cause the kids are out of her hair lol. good luck
Second Times a Charm
Men search their whole for the right woman and pray she never changes. A woman looks for a man and says, I can change him. I've been there and all I can say is that she has to understand how important it is to you. That means you have to be up front and honest to her and yourself and then she has to decide if she can live with it. You will never hunt or fish as much as you do when your single, when your married and have kids. School, sports and life in general becomes more hectic and time is a valuable commodity. Try to find a woman with her own hobbies, so you can go hunt and she can go play tennis or whatever. Also keep in mind that no matter what you do you only got a 50/50 chance of the marriage lasting.
I dunno but....
I am married for 14 years, my wife is very supportive of me going hunting/fishing. I work alot not shift on and off work but average 11-12 hour days 5 maybe more days a week. We have 3 kids the wife doesnt really hunt. Shes made a couple of trips with me but its not really her thing. But that being said if its hunting season she never gives me greif about going. Obviously Im not hunting Christmas Day but she is supportive of my hobbies. I take my kids whenever they are free to come. I tend to hunt on Sundays and Mondays so they cant always come due to school. Now the wife loves to fish and in the summer we usually make a few trips together. The number one thing in a wife is that she is cool. Thats just my opinion.
easy,get another woman