When looking for parental role models, it’s probably not the best of ideas to ponder the philosophies of 1970s-era shock rockers on the subject. But Gene Simmons, that blood-spewing, shovel-tongued bassist for the iconic KISS, went on to star in the reality television hit Gene Simmons Family Jewels, and through the course of promoting the show, he offered more parental advice than anyone cared to hear.
Some of it was bizarre, but a bunch of it made perfect sense.
For instance, Simmons told the story of a couple who couldn’t control their 2-year-old. They had read all the psychology-based parenting guides, and followed them to the letter — including the part about never spanking your child.
Unfortunately for the couple, none of it seemed to be working. Everything they told the child not to do, he did, and everything they tried to get him to do, he wouldn’t.
There was one thing, however, that the child absolutely never did — touch the dog’s bowl. That’s because one time, to the horror of the parents, the child ran to the bowl while the dog was eating, and yanked it away. The dog responded as dogs do, and snapped at the boy.
No permanent harm done, but the toddler learned his lesson.
Simmons laughed at how ironic it was that the parents didn’t learn theirs.
Well we, collectively as deer hunters, are about to get our hands snapped at by Department of Wildlife and Fisheries agents, and hopefully we’ll learn our lesson.
Last year, the first with the state’s new tagging program, DWF agents were rightfully soft in enforcing the law. The tagging system was dramatically different than anything hunters had experienced, and the learning curve was understandably steep.
In the excitement of the kill, many hunters forgot to tag their deer; others tagged their deer but forgot to report them. Agents let many people off with warnings and reminders.
As a result, only 116,571 deer were reported last year. Biologists are confident far more deer than that were killed. Even the inefficient mail surveys indicate that hunters killed 50 percent more deer than they reported.
The tagging program is an important tool for future deer management, and participation approaching 100 percent is crucial so that biologists can be confident in their assessments.
If you’re one of those who failed to report a deer you killed, consider yourself like that 2-year-old in desperate need of learning a lesson.
You’re about to get nipped.
Contact Todd Masson at toddm@lasmag.com